Falling Into Insignificant Lies And Living Through Falsities...Everything Is Chaotic And Delectable Distorted Imagery... "They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work." ~WSB

zondag, oktober 03, 2010

Running Nucking Futs.

Don't you just hate it when you live with someone who can't afford their keep? I know, annoying! Fuck, I've turned into that person. Because of random work, I got used to money coming in last minute to save the day. Now I should really get my ass in gear and attempt normal people living...which requires at least something sort of normal for a job. Some neato modeling gigs, creative stuff, some creepy stuff...at least I'm looking. I wouldn't mind something flexible so I can go out of town or help out some friends with their projects.

There's one Hell of a story running amok in my head. Nothing I should publicly announce, but it was like being abducted by aliens...sorta. Late at night, makes you feel sick inside when you find out that it's not a dream...probes...hahahaha, not really (at least I hope not. That makes me feel much worse at that thought). It would make a good story for an M. Night Shamalama-ding-dong (as I'm too lazy to look up the accurate spelling) movie. "What a twist!" Someone would have to be a psychotic killer, and it would be WAY too easy for me to name who (not me, surprisingly). Still getting random information...still deeply confused...really happy I'm not waking up to it anymore though...

You kinda just put on your crazy face and ran with it and everyone saw it as normal. Kudos. I want to make money off your insanity as mine surely cannot compare.
Another note on crazy; fuck, I hate drunk me. It's like your mind stays home in bed while your body is rented out to the nuthouse (or someone who really shouldn't have control of a body). I used to remember EVERYTHING, now it's just moods and the basic events of the night (which comes in handy for finding a safe place to crash). Luckily, I haven't been drinking much at all anymore. Throwing punches at my ex-boss because I've been drugged and made over-intoxicated is one thing (one pretty bad thing)...being a cold heartless bitch is another. I do naturally push people away (it's from being a loner who's sick of being hurt and from having loved the wrong person who convinced me no one actually cared about me, no one is actually my friend. Yeah, try that one on for 4 years. I really need to rip him a new one for that if I'm choosing to associate with him again. Dreadful fucker)...I've done some horrible things, said or thought of some horrible things, about almost everyone I love.
Back to the drawing board...This model needs an update if it should be successful.

Bah, I'm sick of obsessing over sleep, I'm sick of waking up like a grumpy bear and I'm sick of the lazy streak. I have a cat who's on his last strands of happy with me...It's really late...I have some jobs to apply for in the sunny part of the day and need to get ready to embrace some money, yay! (Me being hopeful, as though a job will just point to me and say that I complete it...also because I'm thrifty and have bags of goodies to sell.)