Falling Into Insignificant Lies And Living Through Falsities...Everything Is Chaotic And Delectable Distorted Imagery... "They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work." ~WSB

zondag, september 12, 2010


So happy I can delete posts.

Things have been entertaining. I've had a bartender give me his number and two other guys trying to get mine. I was helping my buddy clean houses and didn't dress to impress. The owner of the first house was home, which I find is awkward. At the end he asked for my number so we could go out for coffee. I stared at him like he asked me something in a foriegn language. Of course that probably didn't make him feel very good. What do you expect from someone like me?
Lastnight at a house party, I kept noticing some guy staring at me from across the table. The Jenga tower was between us so everytime I looked at the game, I could see him. He followed me around, chatted with me. When I came back from smoking, he hands me his phone and told me to put my number in it. I went to his notepad feature and wrote "no." He sat close to me when I was watching people play Crib and handed me a sheet with tic-tac-toe set up on it. After no one won, he wrote (area code)- - and a happy face. I wrote "brat" in where my number was meant to go. He drew a sad face and left the party.
In conclusion...I'm not looking for anyone, I am content. I barely can put the effort into a social life, let alone attempt dating strangers (well, dating in general, but sometimes it's easier if you know the person). Lately, people seem to have been drawn more to me and I hate it. By the looks of it, I'm covered if I do want a relationship.

Here's another fun issue; being social. Talking isn't coming easy to me. The party lastnight was mentally exhausting as I had to talk to strangers who were drunk and I was sober. I crashed in a bed upstairs and felt a sigh of relief to be alone. Of course, I wanted to be in my own bed, but one desire at a time. I hid the other night while out with one of my close buddies. It was a nice night out and all, I just found myself drunk and alone listening to music for a little while (happy until the alcohol hit my mind in a sour way).

Things have been pretty good, outside of the contagious depression that seems to be going around. Also doesn't help that I keep wanting to just relax with my cat, in my bed, and instead I get up and go everytime I'm invited out. Tonight should be good for that. Clean a little bit, listen to some radio, maybe read or write or something. Turn off my phone and just breathe.
I miss my roomies, but it is nice to just have some quiet time, alone at home.

My brain is shutting down it seems, so I think nattering has become more of a chore. Can't write anything of interest (well, I could paraphrase my deleted drunk rambling post), so best not write at all.
(I've slipped away from the rabbit hole as the madness was getting to me. It will find me and drag me back, as it always does. Greatful for the momentary escape...)