"Bros before ho's"

What an interesting way to discribe someone...I doubt I deserved that...

He's in love with me. Not the way I love him as he is head over heels over me (an L-bomb he dropped on me the first time I saw him in months). Say what you like but I'm not there. I don't care who you are, you cannot tell me what I want or who I love. Someone I know decided that they could be considered a mentor in my life and tried to convince me to settle for my recent ex. You cannot make someone love another person if their heart isn't there.
I love him as my friend. I will be there for him when he needs me, but I will not be his woman.
Another problem arises...I need to move somewhere else. He want's to live with me. He think's we will share the same room (unless I don't want to) and I assume he will be happy...
Problem is, I won't be. I will loathe him for his effection and the habits which bother me. I will feel a little trapped as I string on someone who I once called friend...

I am unhappy right now. It might have something to do with the meds I'm on (antibiotics) and from watching Requiem For a Dream two nights ago (as I have been in a drunken stupor since Friday night). I don't want to be around people or sleep. I don't want to leave my room. The only thing I have to look forward to is my job which I start tomorrow.
Sometimes I really wish I could cry. As though all my problems and insecurities would wash away in my tears. Tears that would make me feel human.