Frustration and Chaos is My Life
Completely and totally done with the last place I was living in. No more sounds of women being fucked from two floors above me, or having a 30-something year old man hit on me all the time (nope, just a 50-something year old man doing so at work). No more showers in a furnace room, and now I have the time alone to get over him. I miss him so much and I am miserable when I try sleeping. I got to see him on Saturday...moving my stuff into my parents and then after 8:30 that night. He said he would sleep over, but of course he came over to bitch about it. He didn't want to and there was nothing I could do to make him happy to stay with me so I let him go.
I can tell there is something going on. Of course he isn't going to say anything so eventually I'll get frustrated to the point I have to pry it out of him. He was going to go hang around with one of his friends ex-girlfriends (who is now one of his friends) yesterday and of course she didn't show up so later that night when I called him to ask where he packed certain items he took some of his frustration (he also was frustrated with not being able to hear me) out on me. Of course he didn't tell me about this girl...I had to find it out through other means. I want to get over him and stop with my feelings and the more he inflicts on me, the easier it should be.
How long can I expect anyone to be in my life? People walk in and out of my life that I really don't know how to keep anyone. I'm the only one who bothers to keep in touch so I'm guessing that they just don't want to be around me. Reasons why it is easy to believe that I am an unbearable person. I don't even know how much longer I get to keep him. He is definately looking for other women, and I'm still trying to get over him. It is very unequal and it goes to show how quickly he can rebound. I feel so hurt, but what can I do? He is now further away from me and I don't think he wants to be around me as much. Oh well.
I really wanted to speak of something exciting that happened to me, but looking at it now, it's not even something that would bring a smile to my face. I want out of this miserable funk, but I keep making things worse for myself when I try to be in a better mood. Things will change eventually. I just need to give everything time (which I don't even have).
I can tell there is something going on. Of course he isn't going to say anything so eventually I'll get frustrated to the point I have to pry it out of him. He was going to go hang around with one of his friends ex-girlfriends (who is now one of his friends) yesterday and of course she didn't show up so later that night when I called him to ask where he packed certain items he took some of his frustration (he also was frustrated with not being able to hear me) out on me. Of course he didn't tell me about this girl...I had to find it out through other means. I want to get over him and stop with my feelings and the more he inflicts on me, the easier it should be.
How long can I expect anyone to be in my life? People walk in and out of my life that I really don't know how to keep anyone. I'm the only one who bothers to keep in touch so I'm guessing that they just don't want to be around me. Reasons why it is easy to believe that I am an unbearable person. I don't even know how much longer I get to keep him. He is definately looking for other women, and I'm still trying to get over him. It is very unequal and it goes to show how quickly he can rebound. I feel so hurt, but what can I do? He is now further away from me and I don't think he wants to be around me as much. Oh well.
I really wanted to speak of something exciting that happened to me, but looking at it now, it's not even something that would bring a smile to my face. I want out of this miserable funk, but I keep making things worse for myself when I try to be in a better mood. Things will change eventually. I just need to give everything time (which I don't even have).
posted by Nico | 16:41
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