Hello, I'm Not Actually Here Today.

I feel like a disaster. Pain here and there, sick, stressed...late in the blood department (only by two days, but that is sort of bad for me because my body is generally is a day or two early or right on the 26th...). Thankfully I only have to work two days this week. A bad pay check is on the way, but why should that worry me? Oh right, financial instability. I want to be motivated into completing tthis lengthy work project, however, my mind hasn't been around for weeks. Things will be fine in my head if something gets completed this week (or several things).
Why do people feel obligated to tell me I'm "too" skinny? For one thing, I'm a size 6, and I have a fast motabolism (I haven't been fat...but that will change eventually. Women always get screwed in the body department.) A guy I know who says he wouldn't "fuck a fat chick" (quite frankly, I do not like his tounge), bitches about me being a too skinny female. I do not care about what he says because there is a good chance he doesn't care about my existance but is jumping on the bitching wagon. My lover keeps talking about this really sexy body I could have if I could gain the weight and work out. I can't work out because that would just add stress because the new year is the begining of two new projects and hopefully the end of one...(maybe two). Men drive me batty. Actually, it's not just men, but since I am complaining about a comment made last night infront of two other people (who thankfully didn't voice any opinions what so ever, though I know one wanted to). I like being skinny for the reasons that I look grotesque enough (I'm skinny, I'm pale...I look like a sickly being...who has something more then the common cold...) to keep majority of the male population away (I really do like men, until they decide to make the moves on me. Older men really seem to like me seeing as I could have lost my virginity at age 15 to a 19 year old who was all googly eyed at me...then his 18 year old-soon to be 19-best friend started chasing after me).
What can I do to make this dread go away?

The The has such pretty melodies. Less preachy then I remember. Naked Self is relaxing, delightful to the ears. I have been waiting to get this album for so long. A good buy (I hate wasting money on albums I can't even stand to listen to once...I have made that mistake several times because I want an album from certain bands and I look for one that has familiar songs on it and I'm still disapointed. I only knew Global Eyes, and I have liked The The's past work. I'm not disapointed). Hopefully some lighter music the Rammstien and Skinny Puppy can make it's attempt to keep me in a better mood then I am trapped in.