I Don't Want You To Be Someone Else For Me.

Things have remained complicated for me, but the strain is slowly lifting. I have a few projects that have at least reached the start line, some are over and done with, and some are near the end. Yesterday I broke down. I was lifted up by a loving hand (it claims it's loving status, but love is something I become a toy over...and eventually I will break again...words are so decieving, especially when you invest in their meanings towards others). I have needed help for quite sometime, but feel that no one has the time for me to keep me going, let alone breathing. My darling has been trying to save me, but after confessing their love for me, all I can do is wait. I worry that it is just another phase. Another temporary admiration.
With all this adversity and drops in sanity, I will either come out a strong and radiant person, or I will collapse. I do not have any will, but I do have someone else's wings. Collapsing is a dominant result, to the point of pulling myself together would just be a waste of time, but I am trying to listen to the 'I love you's' to gain whatever strength is needed to appease this person with my life. Being needed by one person leads me to feel empty, but it shows that out of all those whom I have come across in life, one actually believes I am worth saving. This is where the 'I love you's' start to hurt. If things spiral out of control, if I lose all the 'I love you's', if these wings deteriorate...where do I go? There would be nothing for me to do. My mind set is generally hopeless, but I have been through it all before. I am trying to better myself and the one I love, but it is so hard. After years of the same thought patterns, one's mind has much difficulty in trying to escape. To change.
Things will get better, things will get better, things will get better, things will get better, things will get better, things will get better, things will get better...hopefully...