"You take me to, lead me through, oblivion!"

"I feel you - your precious soul, And I am whole."
Uh! I hate it still, I ignore every bit of it, but I LOVE HER!! Maybe I just adore anyone who gives me the right kind of attention...I've been screwed over by everyone I know so really, I'm not surprised, but honestly, I've tucked any feelings away to actually keep this friend, but it still kinda sorta hits me in the face (as in, "duh, stop being stoooopid, but there are two people on your wish list and DUH YOU AREN'T GETTING THEM....")...
Actually nevermind...
I still have REALLY old and dirt covered feelings for someone else...who screws me over every time I see them again for the first time in awhile...
("And the spirit of love is rising within me, talking to you now, the fire still burns.")
Thus is why I have a few bite marks here and there...we were competing in the game of who can tease who...neither of us won, but it still makes me wonder...
FUCK!!
I really don't know what to do with myself. I think I love everyone basically. I hate as much as I hate myself...
The Bottom Line
"Like a cat dragged in from the rain
I go straight back out and do it all over again
I'll be back for more
Something that is out of our hands
Something we will never understand
It's a hidden law
The apple falls
Destiny calls
I follow you
Like a pawn on the eternal board
Who's never quite sure what he's moved towards
I walk blindly on
And heaven is in front of me
Your heaven beckons me enticingly
When I arrive it's gone
The river flows
The wise man knows
I follow you
I'm yearning I'm burning
I feel love's wheels turning
Like a moth on love's bright light
I will get burned each and every night
I'm dying to
The sun will shine
The bottom line
I follow you
I'm yearning I'm burning
I feel love's wheels turning
Like a moth on love's bright light
I will get burned each and every night
I'm dying to
The sun will shine
The bottom line
I follow you
The sun will shine
The bottom lineI follow you."~DM
So I just torture myself due to how passionately I feel towards people as I have learned that you have to choose between friendship and hormones...At least I can say I'm strong there!

Life is just plain fucked up, so what. It happens so there is no point in getting too involved so I'm happy for booze...(and I think I've met ALL the wrong mentors there but for the most part it works...I don't want kids and I'm too nuts to love more than the scary beast that I am).

Instead of growing the fuck up I've decided on random posts that lack any appeal and will make the reader wish they didn't waste those precious minutes of their lives...
(and I think I'm tied in a lovely little noose to my year long attraction which is a huge mistake on my part...sounds about right but I'm generally more possitive about this shit than I ever have been!)
Sleep now...drink later...