~...Dysmorphophobia...~

Falling Into Insignificant Lies And Living Through Falsities...Everything Is Chaotic And Delectable Distorted Imagery... "They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work." ~WSB

donderdag, november 11, 2010

Dancing Around Reality

Doesn't want to do it, but can get over herself long enough to be of actual use. When things just start getting good in areas that she has recently become incomfortable with, the world has to say no. No, you can't be comfortable, you can't give yourself to someone, we want to claim you as our pet and want to mistreat you. You can't feel that electricity, that spark, that overwhelming desire to be a one and only. Ok, you can desire it until you have to cry yourself to sleep, but your collapsing mind and the world want something else of you. Your insecurities fucked you over on this one, now we get to decide what to do with you. You're not a child anymore, and haven't been one for quite some time. Doesn't mean you really get to be anything you want to be. Get up, and do as you are told without crying or complaining. You are a product and must look appropriate if you want to make yourself in anyway useful. It's not the end of the world and there are less fortunate than you, so be happy for whatever we give you.
.........
I babble on about you, as though we are in a honeymoon phase. Something that went unnoticed until everywhere I went reminded me more of you than all the memories that were laid in place before you. The flaws you have go unnoticed, or seem unimportant if I ever do meet them. Maybe I am being rediculously foolish, but I'm terrified of losing you.
.........
I have to get ready for lunch. I'd rather stay home and get things done, but as time begins to disapear between my fingers, the pressure to get it all done will be of some use. Might forget some much needed socks and underwear, as I always forget something (no matter how throrough I make and go over my list).