"I'm Floating In You..."

The word NO is very important. I need to use it more. You know, to avoid more sexual assault (I never looked at how often people get away with it towards me. Kinda scary). Though I should make a safety word for sexual play. Haha, Mustash.
On another note of sexual play, I got me some flogging! Ooooh!! See, I've never really had an actual heavy flogging (and that wasn't centered around my tushie). I was excited and really happy that I finally got someone to whip me silly. *giggles* Sextera is only a few days away and I can get some REAL toys. Mmm.

I felt like I was in another dimention last week. It was really odd. I was over joyed to see my Polka-dotted-spotted-blondie and we trekked this dimention together. I was plagued with a whore illness which made me a miserable sack of crap...also being depressed didn't help. See, I seem to be nearing homelessness or insanity. My house is just as unbearable as when I left it the previous year, though there is more bitterness and conflict now. If I stay here any longer, I may lose all my hair from stress or chop up my arms beyong regognition. Therefore, I'm homeless and may be moving to Vancouver. Bye bye non-existant money, hello some freedom. I don't know if I even want to move with my ex, but I doubt I could live without him (or at least being physical. I can live alone, but I tend to miss sleeping with someone...sex or not). I guess it's cheaper and we would be seeing each other as if we were actually living together anyway so it makes sense. Just so long as he doesn't hurt me again and we don't live amidst horribly negitive energy again, we might be fine (our last place had depressed spirit of a junkie tainting it...).

Ooh Halloween is tomorrow! Yay! I have no costume. That kind of makes me sad, but no one here want's to do anything with me anyway and I probably shouldn't spend any money. Blah. I'll be a mummy! Hahaha!! A "sexy" mummy too (yeah right). I've begun the carving of the pumpkin because no one in my house feels competent enough to do so. My kitty has been eating some of the gooie pumpkin insides while watching me. He's such a great companion. Everything seems to amazing to him that he get's right in there, watching all my moves. I don't know what to actually put on my pumpkin. I want it to be something sinister, but there are so many limitations when working with a pumpkin.

Uhg, I hate my hair. It's too short to pull back when it's being stupid (yes, because hair has a mind of it's own. Didn't you know that pubic hair is just to make you stinky and ichy? Jeeze!). I want to dye it some interesting color (I even thought of green! I'll probably go back to blue-black) and find a style I would want to keep for a long long time. I hate having long hair because it get's in the way (I base this mostly around sexual acts as well. I cut it once to make it easier...HOW SICK IS THAT?!) and I don't do much with it to begin with, but I can wear it up and with a tickler in it (sort of burlesque) which is nice. I hate short hair because there is nothing I can do with it and actually be happy. I always assume one looks better on me when I have the other. Grr. I might as well just shave it all off and get rid of my eyebrows and go for the ill-look (it's uncanny how sick I look without bangs and when my hair is tucked under a hat). One of these days, I'll win! You just wait and see!

I'm going to be vain, I'm going to clean my room, I'm going to figure out the pumkin and halloween issue and pack my bags again.
(He told me not to eat candy and I can't bring myself to eat candy...)