The Pain Running Through My Veins.

I'm sick again...or still. My stomach was quite upset lastnight (oh you should of heard it. My little thunderstorm that lasted for hours). Now this morning my nose is dripping. I'm never going to win in the sick and healthy game. I thought I would feel better by now seeing as I had to deal with a couple weeks of throwing up my stomach everyday. Mmm...Ginger ale...

Psychiatrist tonight...Let's hope my breasts aren't old man magnets. I mean, he should be professional and it's generally pretty obvious when someone is staring at your chest. He can't see what's on my necklaces very well, plus he always makes sure to add in the quick body look over. Real smooth old chap...Now tell me that I know you but don't remember where from and tell my "boyfriend" that he will have to share...oh wait, I'm crazy AND single...who the Hell is going to believe me?
Oh and on the boyfriend note...I used to have a great excuse from not having guys pick me up, get me drunk and seduce me. It doesn't work anymore...IT DOESN'T FREAKING WORK!! "So I'm taken, and NOT looking and FAR from interested in you." "Well none-the-less girlie, that really shouldn't matter anymore. I'll use my "suave" pick up lines until I'm irresistable." *Strange creepy males eyebrows bob up and down* So a girl is no longer safe. I love being alone, but right now I fear it. I need to desicrate my face or dress up like a hutterite or something in hopes I can walk about and NOT even be stopped. Here's my list since Friday night: The 30 year old who has a crush on me (he hasn't been all that bad...he didn't even talk to me much on Friday...it's just the matter of attraction with a 12 year difference), the EX-PRISONER who was drunk out of his freaking skull and who wouldn't leave me alone (felt the need to help me, which made things worse, especially since I went outside to be alone. I EVEN SAID FUCK OFF!), the guy who asked for a lighter (afterwards saying: "Are you going home tonight? Not going out to party? You should come party with me. I'm not a stranger. I don't think your boyfriend should care. You've met me before you just have to think about it." You can almost guess what I was saying...) and lastly, the oriental boy who HAD to force his way in my fucking face, then my friends face (apparently he's not a stranger either. He wouldn't shut up EVEN while I was on the phone, which is what I was on when he came to bug me. The he said that my boyfriend shouldn't be so jealous, and he invited me out for a movie and a drink. Through his accent I heard something about fiance and being my boyfriend as well. Yeah, I'm a sleaze who LOVES to be unfaithful to give people who I would scare the shit out of a chance). So this past month I have been bothered...by WAY more men then I ever wanted. One guy asked me out for drinks at 11 at night...TUESDAY NIGHT. I was bitchy and wanted to get to my "boyfriends" house. Really, I have no interest in gaining anymore friends, or fucking anyone else. I like my small group of artists.
(Wow, a little realization here...I wasn't dressed provacative in anyway each time. My layers cannot detour the male from me...Oh god, how can I be saved! Will I ever be able to roam alone again?)

Tipping the Velvet...Heehee, lovely. Showcase played that during pride week sometime ago. I found it, bought it, and watched it (begining to end this time). Quite a good...show? heehee, the main character has nice breasts (I know, I sound just like a guy. I oogle naked people in any movie I watch. Ewan McGreggor has a nice PENIS...now do I sound like a typical male? Yeah, thought so!)! Ok currently at work...currently typing about breasts and genitalia...moving on now...

My week: Monday-Dentist & boy boy, Tuesday-Run around town. Night with Girlie, Wednesday-Psychiatrist and maybe night with boy boy (movie or hauling my ass out of bed to go to his house), Thursday-Friends in band have a show, Friday-Girlie #2's B-day party, Saturday-Freeday! No obligations sooo far, Sunday-Battle of the Bands. Super. So I have a nice long busy week so no time to clean my room or NAP!

Stressed out of my head right now. Had a really bad panic attack on the weekend (hyperventilated, rolled around insanely...shook like crazy. Yeah only one way to stop them really. Several ways to slow and calm one down though...). THought I was going to crash my friends car because of my thoughts and since I was weak I assumed the Speaker she had to cart around on the back seat was going to topple over on her as she abruptly stopped. No one understands my anxiety attacks; "Relax, don't get so stressed." Well it's not as easy as that. I'm also seeing someone to make things...better?
Going back to work before I get into trouble...