Meanless Child.

So I have to go for my FOURTH pap smear this year...FUN! And a test proved possitive for something a "friend" passed onto myself and my ex. So I have to go in for another series of tests, that stupid fourth pap in three months time, and I have to tell the people I got it from that they need to fix their innards before any future plans of children are non-existant.
Another linking story; I took the medication on Tuesday and it didn't mix well with my illness. Oh right, I forgot to mention I have a flu-type illness and haven't been able to keep anything down (and that has been going on for quite sometime, but it has progressively gotten worse over the past week). So while out with a friend, I spent a good hour throwing up my insides and pissing out my ass in her bathroom (which was cleaned merely minutes previous to when I used it). I had to get another dose today (and I had to take Gravol for the first time in years. Disgusting stuff), which wasn't too smart because I took it before heading home on transit. I got home and forced myself to sleep in hopes to keep it down. I have been nauseas all day, however, I managed to keep it down. So thrilling year I have been having! Trying to make things better while they only get worse.

I told my ex I didn't want to be around him anymore through email not too long ago. So after he reads it, this should be a rather interesting night...unless he really doesn't care, in which case shows how much I did really mean to him (if I had to crawl and suffer for love, why can't he?) I'm not doing this to have his nuts under my heels (pussy-whipped), I'm doing this because I really don't think he cares about me and I am sick of games and uncertainty. Hell, I'm barely allowed to talk to other men though he told me he would fuck any girl who would let him (but he has a good week of no sex...to add to this week). How is that fair? The world ends when I lie to him, but it's almost a joke if he lies to me (and how do I know I'm the only girl for him knowing all that?). If you love someone, they should be able to just know it and not have to continuously question it. I can understand when people have issues showing it, but it's not hard to make a simple effort. He gave me his ex-girlfriends ring (that she lost)...I mean it's a nice gesture because he don't have enough money to spend on Tea, and it's a first since a week before my birthday. I really don't expect gifts, but since I buy him so much just because (I even bought him Acryllic paints and paint brushes, other art supplies...you know"inexpensive" items...).

Wow...he seems rather apathetic. Quick questions and that was that. I knew I was just some familiar face. Hooraw. Now onto my new life. It took this long to find out...how sad. Well I hope he feels good about himself.

After going to a bookstore 3 times, I had to go back to get my bag. I got my sister to retrieve it and waited in the entrance where I talked to a guy about the tattoo's we had in likeness. It was interesting. Apparently I have good taste in tattoos (though he only saw one). Yeah, silly short story, but it was nice to meet another Satanic person who wore the symbol out of some form of belief and not because it's scary or like their favorite metal band.

I'm going to go get some work done. Things are piling up all around me so might as well pay some attention to them (oh and I'll fill in some information about my psychiatrist next week after I see him next).
Adieu.