~...Dysmorphophobia...~

Falling Into Insignificant Lies And Living Through Falsities...Everything Is Chaotic And Delectable Distorted Imagery... "They tend to be suspicious, bristly, paranoid-type people with huge egos they push around like some elephantiasis victim with his distended testicles in a wheelbarrow terrified no doubt that some skulking ingrate of a clone student will sneak into his very brain and steal his genius work." ~WSB

zondag, april 24, 2005

Absolut Hoffnungslos...

There is so much anxiety building up within me right now. I really hope I can make it through this week of school.
At work, I had to go to a meeting. It was rather humorous at one point when anyone in the meeting could ask a question or make a suggestion, and I knew a specific comment that was directed towards me. It was one based on ego and personal problems. I am a very stressed person and I take my job seriously, but I do not have an ego. I just get really pissed off at seeing all the morons I work with standing around talking while I go all over the place to do the job I signed up for. I thought they had the same job as me, but I seem to be highly mistaken. Only one person has noticed the hard work I do and the dominate laziness of my co-workers.
So I'm quiting my job soon. Sweet freedom. Hopefully it will be a full time job where they don't screw me over on shifts. I can s deal with lack of respect because I never really get respect from anyone anyway.
Soon I can escape the life I live now and become another human. One who lives away from the family she hates, and the job that makes her feel absolutely worthless. I have been thinking about leaving everyone I know behind and start a new life completely alone. But I think my boy would get in the way of that.

Frei sein, entgehen, atmen, allein sein.