Honey, you are driving me crazy...

Another naughty secret,
Another visit to Wonderland.
Hiding in the shadows,
Under many suspecting noses.
Sneak off into the night
To set some sheets on fire.
It's getting hard to function
Stuck in a sexual daze...

I can't explain how absolutely bazarre my life can get. I have gone from professional loner to having an entourage, being chased and having some strange power to get who I want (at least it seems to be a power...). Sex appeal...weird...I guess my sex drive has been externalized (as I haven't had anyone to release myself on to calm myself internally...which is a lie I guess...I've had all the choice in the world since Boffo the Mofo Clown of an ex has left my life and have taken some advantage of it...).
The only thing REALLY bothering me is how miserable one of my buddies must be. I want to be there for her so bad, but there isn't much I can do (though I would marry her just because I love her and can't stand to see her so hurt)...She needs space, but we need a good innappropriate yelling and cursing match in public so she can let it all out. Whenever someone I care about is happy my life is horrible. When their life is miserable, my life is better. I would give up my own happiness so they wouldn't be miserable.
I can deal with the men who are trying to get my attention (moreso if my "lover" is with me, but I always seem to screw us out of free drinks because I want these men gone NOW rather than play some game) and anything redicuous health wise (like a 37 day period which still makes an appearance every few hours...I'm not counting anymore). There is the stress and chaos that I'm used to...so my personal day-to-day life is fine...
...aside from you.
You are a problem. You are a high. I honestly can't escape this trance (and I have tried so many times before). You laugh as others beg for my attention and as you give me one word associations of your dirty thoughts. There is so much tension I am faint at times.

*sigh* I doubt I'll ever escape this Wonderland...
("I'd like sleep with him, pushing in the pin...")