Mental Stability...

Somehow I can always find a way to hate myself. Yesterday, I was just miserable. Earlier in the day was fine. I made some flour rich pancakes with my friend, which were filling but quite a horrible meal. While I was walking to work I could only hear Marilyn Manson and my own derogatory remarks about myself and life. I seem to have an extensive amount of negativity within me. I wish for some happiness. Not to be stupid happy, but more along the lines of contempt happy. If that is impossible to last at least a day, then I'll go for a lobotomy. Caving to stupid happy.
He noticed my mania and acted like there was something wrong with me. I think I need to smooth out my emotions, because the down fall hits me really hard and I can't take it too well.
Together under droplets of water, we are embracing. Your touch, your lips, the way your skin feels, makes me feel whole. I could never have fathomed how beautiful you are and how your love can pull me out of my gloom. So near a dear to me.
Don't you just love it when you can slowly kill yourself while their back is turned?